Want a 7th date? First you must pass this test.

Half way through my evening at Earl's, a short man pulled up a chair at the bar next to me (and my date). This man quickly cut in on our conversation to share an insight I will honestly say I'm not that familiar with - Man's Perspective on Dating.

Having some single friends, and being a female, I have a good grasp on how women feel about men and dating, but this outgoing man had something to share with me that opened my eyes to a whole new outlook.

What my new friend, let's call him Rico, had to say:

#1 A woman really cares more about what a man can bring to the table, than what she can bring to a relationship. When Rico stated this opinion, I naturally became very defensive, until he went to prove his point. He pulled up Match.com on his cell phone and we did a search for women. Almost every woman's profile we looked at talked more about the requirements a potential boyfriend had to meet, rather than what she has to offer. (Mine excluded of course.)

#2 Women have been raised in a way that leads them to believe men have to make all the effort. Sorry ladies, but this one was hard to argue. It's true, from the time we were little girls we were told if a boy chases us, he likes us. As we grew older, we were told that the boy has to ask the girl out. That it's only proper for the guy to make the first move. That girls need to play hard to get and if he doesn't call, don't call him. (For more examples, see He's Just Not That Into You.) Rico was frustrated that even if a woman wants to call, she flat out refuses. She will not let him know how she feels until he tells her first. She will not make the effort to ask him out. I'm going to have to agree with my lil friend on this one.

#3 (and the most shocking) Women don't date to find a friend or a companion, but instead they want a free meal and sex. This one made me giggle a little bit because I have some strong arguments that may support Suave's point. But, as a female who is currently dating, I will definitely say I do not date for a free meal!! It is really not worth a free meal to sit across from some dud, pulling teeth to get a good conversation, just so I can eat out. I would much rather sit at home alone in my comfys with a nice home cooked meal and Cougar Town. Regarding the free sex, I'm going to go out on a limb to say most women don't have to 'date' to get free sex. 'Nuff said.

After having about a 3 hour conversation with my new friend (and my date), I took down his number so I could get some more information about how men perceive single women. Is it weird that I'm taking dating advice from a guy who requires a girl to take a lie detector test on their 6th date??

Dedicated to 'all the single ladies'. Isn't it interesting how men perceive us? Hmph.

It's a Burn, Not a Hickey

Last Friday morning I was getting ready for work and listening to the news. While fixing myself in the bathroom mirror, the weather man informed me of a huge snow storm we'd be having that day. Flights would be canceled, roads would be horrible, businesses would be closed. Then, he mentioned this would be the last snow fall of the Winter. This caught my attention because I have had a major case of Spring Fever. (Side note - Hot, cold, hot, cold. My excuse for being moody - Gemini. Colorado, what's your excuse?) So, when the weather man mentioned this exciting news, it caught my attention and, unfortunately, I turned my head to get a better listen and made instant curling iron to skin contact. Y'ouch!!!!! But, besides the new burn, I was thrilled!!!

Normally, I would look at this snowy day as a pain in the tush. (Another side note - Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy the snow, but enough is enough already.) But, now I had a different outlook. I was excited for it to snow one last time. As I was driving home from work I made the extra effort to take in the beautiful scenery. And, while taking Otis out to take care of biznaz, I caught a few flakes on my tongue. I sure was going to miss the snow.

Then, come Saturday, as the snow was quickly melting, it felt so good to go outside without a jacket. It was finally going to be warm outside, which means tank tops, skirts, dresses and swimming suits (Side note, again - I have a very sick addiction to swim suits and can't wait to release them from their drawer). I love warm weather!!

Which is why on Sunday, when my Dad told me it was supposed to snow again on Tuesday, I was very upset and confused.

Me: Dad, they said Friday was going to be the last snow fall of the Winter. It can't snow!!!
Dad: They said it was going to be the last snow of the Winter. Spring started Saturday.

Say what?!?!?!?!?!?!

Dedicated to the Channel 2 Weather Man. Your false hope in warm weather has created a cold bitterness in me.

Is It Really Cheating If...

Is it really THAT bad if I have a big fat piece of chocolate cake?

Is it really slacking if I skip the gym for a few days? What about a week? Ok, how about 3 weeks?

Is it really rude if I'm IMing him, talking to her and texting him, all at the same time? (That's not rude, that's talent.)


Is it really pessimistic if my faith in fairy tales is fading more and more every single day?

Is it really disloyal if I'm secretly wishing I was on a date with him, instead of him?

Is it really irresponsible if I lay in bed instead of do my weekend chores of grocery shopping, cleaning and laundry?

Is it really lame if Friday night I'd rather stay home and watch Uptown Girls than go be a downtown girl?

Is it really distasteful if I jump up on the speakers and dance for the crowd?

Is it really misbehaving if I have a cheeseburger and fries instead of salmon and broccoli? (OMG, a cheeseburger and fries sound heavenly right now.)

Is it really unprofessional if I take a little break at work to check out my friend's facebook photos? Side note - co-workers, I do not do this, ever ;)

Is it really that obnoxious to wake up neighbors when I get home?

Is it really juvenile if I crawl around on the floor with my 9 month old beauty or roll down the park hill with my 2 year old lovey?

Is it really that pathetic that I have had a glass of wine almost every night for the last 2 weeks?

Is it really that silly if my girlfriends and I dedicate a whole night to Chinese food and watching the Twilight Series?

Is it really that odd to be obsessed with black and white?

Is it really that weird that I have to take 2 showers a day, once in the morning or I feel gross all day, and once at night or I can't sleep?

Is it really sad that I'm perfectly content with living with Otis, the O-Town, my LP, and that I really do think he's probably the perfect man/roommate?

Is it really that horrible if I love to break the rules?

Is it really cheating if I know the results will be better if I do it the 'wrong' way?

Dedicated to my frog. Is it really that difficult to turn into my prince?

A quote at the right moment is like corned beef and cabbage. Delish!

Quotes are to live by. Sometimes I read a quote that identifies so much with what I'm feeling, that I know the author must have had me in mind when he or she wrote it. Or, maybe just the quote Gods made sure it ended up in my inbox that day.

“Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.”
― Charles Dickens

Disappointment after disappointment can lead to another disappointment. So the first part of this quote is very hard for me to follow. While I feel like I share as much of me as I can with friends and family, I do feel like my heart has hardened towards romantic love. As cliche as this may sound, I feel like I have a wall around my heart. A well laid, brick wall. I've been through a situation that has kicked me in the chest, beat me to the ground, punched me in the stomach and then got in the car and ran over me. It has not been easy, and to this day, that situation backs up and runs over me on about a weekly basis. Fun huh? The first part of this quote reminds me that people aren't out to hurt me, and if I have a hard heart, I could miss out on some great opportunities.

Oh, the second part of this quote, now I have that part down. I'm a redhead, temper is in my blood. I'm stubborn, I know what I want, and if I don't get it, I might get a temper. Who am I kidding? Let's just say, I can accomplish part two of this quote.

The third part of this quote, while can be taken literally, can also be taken figuratively (thanks Jeff). I want my touch to be friendly, compassionate, unforgettable. I also want my 'touch' to mean something to people. I want the people who have been 'touched' by me to understand me as a person, know me deeper than my surface, and hopefully, by my 'touch', I have made a difference in people's lives. The third part of this quote is something to live by.

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.”
― Phyllis Diller

Another quote that I really had to take to heart today. I have been in a mood all day, a hot mess if you will. People who said 'hi' to me instantly backed away with caution. (If you were one of those people, sorry, but I'm blaming it on the red hair.) While I wish I could have taken part in the above quote mentioned activities at work, I couldn't, so I did as soon as I got home. I mean I really did it!!!!!!! And now, I'm a different person. Lesson to be learned - next time I want to attack someone who simply steps foot in my office, I'll close my door, set my phone alarm, cry, rant and rave!!! Then, feel free to enter my office.

Idea - Why don't you post a quote that relates to how you are feeling right this very moment?

Dedicated to today's victims.

Gone Fishing

Last Friday night I'm over at my sister's house and I'm talking to her about possibly joining Match.com, since my friend thought it would be a good thing to do. My sister also thinks it's a fabulous idea so I sit down at her computer in the kitchen and start looking at the guys, cuz after all 'It's Ok to Look'. I asked my oldest nephews if they wanted to help me shop for a new uncle. They both gave me confused looks but walked over to the computer and started to point to a few guys they both thought would be good for me. Andrew picked a guy that I would say is not my taste and I had to ask him if he REALLY thought he was cute. Andrew admitted that he didn't and that he would be more serious about his selection next time (in so many words). My 2 year old nephew wanted to get involved in the project so he pushed a stool up so he could see the screen and started pointing at every single guy on the screen, one at a time, ending on pointing to himself - 'Pick Me'.

So, I see that there are some decent guys on the site, the boys agree, and we decide to make a profile, just as my Mom and Dad walk in. I write my description and answer the questions and the family all helps me pick my main picture, my dad's choice winning out, and my profile is now complete.

Picture this - Me, sitting at the computer with 3 little boys sitting around me, all shopping for an uncle on Match.com. Hey, at this point, I might as well make my dating life a family event. How is my Friday night experience not a perfect commercial for Match?

So yes, now my friend and I are both on Match.com, hoping to 'Start a Love Story'. I figured with everything that has happened throughout the last 2 1/2 years of my life, this is just the next step, the next chapter. And, I might as well try it, because trying new things is right up my alley lately. As we're sitting in the bar discussing who has winked at us, who has shown 'Interest' and who has emailed, I decided it was a little embarrassing to admit we are on Match.com (even though I'm admitting it to all of you readers right now), and we should definitely come up with a nick name for it since making nick names is what we do. Fish Market = Match.com. It's a perfect name for it. You have the Bottom Feeder, which are the guys who just want some action and are winking at every female on the site, especially the ones way out of their league. You have the Trout, which are the guys who are OK, but we're definitely not looking for OK at this point. Then, you have the Salmon, which is the man you want, the man you hope winks at you, and maybe even sends you an actual email. Besides all these reasons, I saw the word 'Fish' on the window of the bar we were at and it sounded like a good idea at the time.

So, how is the Fish Market going, you're probably wondering? It's A LOT of work. I get so many winks, Interests, emails a day that it's flooding my Inbox. It's hard to weed through all of the Bottom Feeders to find a Salmon or two. Who knew so many single men were trying out online dating.

I've also learned a lot about myself while using the Fish Market. For example, I'm very into looks. Before I dig any further into someone's profile, I have to look at all of their pictures, and if I don't find them very attractive, then I delete them from my page. But, if I find them attractive and ONLY when I find them attractive, I read their profile. Even if it's not very good, I still might give a wink back. After all, 'It All Starts With a Look' and if I don't like the look, then why should I go any further?

I was told last night that I have to be more bold with my account, which includes *deep breath* actually meeting people in person. I guess IMing and emailing aren't the best ways to start (or have) a meaningful relationship. So, I may take that step, we'll see, and once again, stay tuned.

Dedicated to my Salmon. I'll catch you some day.

Catching Fish

Too many fishies in the fish market + Too much wine = No time for blogging tonight. Stay tuned and I promise I'll explain later.

7 Minutes in Heaven

Remember junior high Boy/Girl parties? Ahhhh!!! *Sigh* Ahhhhhhwkward. Ok, now fast forward about 15 years. Imagine going to that same Boy/Girl party, but now you're 27. I'm not kidding, I went to this party!!!!

Let me walk you through my friend's and my experience. We signed up to go to Alice's Bitter Ball, which was the Friday before Valentine's Day, which is why it was called 'Bitter' Ball - because it was for singles only. And yes, we totally put on our best threads (ok, I don't think either of us were very confident in what we were wearing, hence the texts back and fourth while we were getting ready). And yes, we both checked our make up before we got out of the car, but this time my friend was driving, rather than our Mom, and it took us about a hundred years to find a parking spot.

So, we get there, we walk in and we get a name tag. But instead of our name, we get a number. Very clever. So this number now represents us, and if someone is interested in us, but not confident to come and actually talk to us (which seemed to be the theme of the night) they could send a text to our 'number' and it would show up on the big, huge screen. Great, so now we have numbers that don't stick very well, especially with the style of shirts that we were wearing, which were placed exactly in the right spot to enhance our cleavage, but not enhance a 'name tag'. We quickly grab a beer and start watching the big screen, cuz really, there's nothing else to do.

The girls were talking to the girls. The boys were talking to the boys. Quick glances were being made across the room at the so-called 'crushes' of the evening. And, to top it off, we had a classic game of Spin the Bottle and 7 Minutes in Heaven. To answer the question that I'm sure is now on your mind - no, I did not participate in either of these games, as swapping spit with complete strangers who have just swapped spit with another complete stranger makes me throw up in my mouth a little. I don't think it had this same effect on me when I was in junior high.

We did meet a couple of nice lads that night, but none that we will talk to outside of that night and we may have tried to find an escape route a time or two.

One of the best stories of the night, we were watching the big screen, a lot. So we decided to entertain ourselves and we put this message up on the screen. Then, we're talking to this random guy and he says 'Who would write that?' about another post. 'Seriously, it seems like that person wrote that about themselves. Who would do that? Pathetic'. And my friend agrees as we walk away giggling. Pathetic? More like bored.




So, the good news is, my friend and I tried something new. We put ourselves out there. When we were feeling a little bummed about the upcoming lover holiday, we decided to do something about it, rather than sulk. And, while we may not have found our Valentines, we did eventually find our escape route for the night - a photo booth!!! (Man, we have some cute pictures.)

Dedicated to #332. OMG!!