She's a Shortcake

Seriously, in my laundry basket?!?!?!

2010-05-08T11:00:00.006-06:00

I woke up this morning, looked over the ledge of my bed and found Otis curled up in the laundry basket full of my clean sheets, brand new duvet cover and bath robe. I was furious and quickly shooed him out of the basket. What a brat! (Seriously, it was kind of cute, BUT he was in BIG trouble.)

Then, as I ate my breakfast I looked over at Otis, curled up in his own bed and couldn't help but smile at his cuteness. My dog is absolutely amazing! I know I'm his Mom, so of course I'm going to say this, but there could not be a better behaved dog out there. He's my family, and he's a great friend.

When I wake up in the morning, hair a mess, no make up and grouchy, Otis is still there, giving me my morning kisses. When I get home in the evening and all I want to do is make a quick dinner and lounge around, Otis is OK with that. He greets me when I walk in like he hasn't seen me in days and then makes himself scarce. When I've had a terrible day, he senses it and cuddles up to me, making sure I'm not alone. The dog has literally caught my tears in his ears ("His ears were often the first thing to catch my tears."). Otis is always by my side, no matter my mood, the day, the activity, who I'm with, he's always there (when I let him be), and he never complains. And while he is a dirty old man (Love Pig), he's my baby boy.

I can't imagine what my life would be without this little guy (although his 'dad' has threatened to take him back a lot lately, blah). I don't write this blog to upset those who have recently lost their dogs, but to maybe bring up some memories that you have...although he's gone, he was amazing while he was here.

While many say dogs are 'just dogs', they are a part of our lives, and they have a huge influence in making us who we are today. Because of this, they'll always be with us, whether it's physcially, or only in our thoughts. Once we lose our friend, there will never ever be a replacement, that's a fact. These little creatures who don't talk, can't cry and will not give advice, are one-of-a-kind. And the thing is, they don't have to be able to do these things, and that's probably what makes them so great, because all they have to do is rest their head on our lap, look up at us with their big eyes, and be....then, everything is better, even if it's just temporarily.

Dedicated to Tanner's Momma. "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." I know you will miss him, but wasn't he just SO amazing while he was here?! I know he will always have a BIG place in your heart. Tanner, you will be missed. (And O-Town - you rock, you pesky little thing.)

The Aussie Who Calls me Frank

2010-04-21T19:48:00.004-06:00

After Maui - working more than I was hoping and relaxing less than I wanted, I kinda fell off the work out train and was a huge slacker!!!! So, in order to get back into shape, I've been kicking it into gear. Well, I've started the process of kicking it into gear....my biggest challenge, rolling out of bed at 4:45 to make it to 5 am Boot Camp.

Is it weird that I work out at 5 in the morning, in a garage, on Hooker Street with an Aussie who calls me Frank? You may say yes, but I say heck no. Check out Bonza Bodies.

With more hard work, I'll be ready for bikini season, and we all know the Shortcake loves bikinis!

Along with my 3-day a week Boot Camps (ok, I haven't made it all 3 days of a single week yet, but again, 5 am, need I say more?), I'm back on track with eating healthy. In fact, I could have enjoyed a free 'unhealthy' dinner at work tonight, but opted out of that and came home to eat something healthy. *Pat on my back.* I'm also trying to run, or do something active, the days in-between camp.

It's not just a rumor! Working out and eating healthy makes me feel 100% better. I'm motivated, and I'd love to get anyone motivated who is interested. I'm not kidding, I want to help everyone feel like this if I can.

Now that I've begun this day before the sun came up, I'm ready to end it before the sun goes down. Good Night.

Dedicated to my drawer full of bikinis - Can't wait to dust you off and wear you out.

27(ish) with no 'Prince Charming' (yet)

2010-04-20T19:35:00.009-06:00

Coming from good 'ol Greeley, CO, almost all of my high school friends are married, have kids or some are even lucky enough to be married AND have kids. Most of those friends were in these situations right out of high school or college. After I graduated college, again from Greeley, I was surprisingly, and happily, still 'single'. I quickly picked up my roots and moved to San Diego.

In San Diego, it was like a whole new life style. People didn't even consider marriage until after reaching 30. In fact, I was in quite a serious relationship there, and my San Diego friends would look at me like I had something coming out of my nose when I would complain that my man wasn't putting a ring on it at the tender age of 24.

I'm not saying that either of these ways of life are right or wrong. I think the 'marriage' decision is based on what society has put on us, but more importantly, what the individual person wants in life and, of course, if that individual has found the him or her that will make a perfect soul mate.

Which leads me to where I'm at. Since kindergarten I have been that girl chasing boys, being chased by boys, and loving every minute of it. I have ALWAYS been a hopeless romantic. While I have made it very difficult for anyone to get through a tough wall I have built around my heart the last few years, I still believe in Love. I still believe in fairy tales. And just because I'm not married right now, doesn't mean I won't find my Mr. Right.

Why am I writing this blog? For 2 reasons.

Reason #1 for this somber, sad blog: I feel pressure. Pressure from society, especially since being back in Colorado. Pressure from my family and friends, that I don't believe is done on purpose, but regardless, it's still there. Pressure from my doctor who says I may have problems in the future with conceiving if I don't hurry it up. Pressure from my age. And even though it's just a number, it's a growing number and nobody wants to be the old woman with 10 cats, a robe and curlers in her hair (although I've joked about that on more than one occasion). Just because I'm not in a relationship right now and I don't have my 'other 1/2' doesn't mean I won't find him. And I know it sounds like I'm trying to convince you, but sometimes I really have to convince myself. My prince charming is out there, and I don't have to find him today, or tomorrow, but when the time is just right, he'll be here. And you know what?!? Being just me is good enough right now.

Reason #2 for this uber-depressing blog: I'm not in the same place as a lot of my friends. Like I said, a lot of my friends are getting married, having babies, making beautiful, beautiful families. And, I am so excited for them!!! It is amazing to watch and to be a part of. And I want my friends who are going through these times to know that I love being a part of this with you. I feel like sometimes I am kept out of the loop or not included in things because 'I'm not there'. I mean afterall, I'm Sarah, the single girl who has fun, but just doesn't get it. I get it. I just don't want it for myself, not right now, not without Mr. Right. Your families and lives are super important to me. Our lifestyles are different, but just because I'm not there, doesn't mean that I don't care.

Dedicated to those who feel the pressure. We've already taken this long, let's continue to take our time.

12 Step, Schmelve Step

2010-04-12T17:49:00.008-06:00

"I will never drink again," the ever-popular words that came out of my mouth Friday night after 12 hours of drinking.

Rockies opening day did not disappoint. Getting to Jackson's at 9:30 am and waiting in line for a 1/2 hour proved to be a challenge. But, at 10 am, after I'd already used my hand sanitizer a few times from the surprise home-made goody bag, we were let into the bar and finally arrived at our destination - the roof of Jackson's. 10:02 am - Bloody Mary in hand and I was feeling like this day was worth playing hooky.

As our friends began to show up, and people began to flood in, we took our spot on stage - Best seats in the house/roof. By 11 am, the place was packed and our 'Beer Me' shirts were now working in full-force. When the cameras were brought out, we brought the sexy.

By 1 pm, we were feeling good. By 9:30 pm, we were feeling not so good. After losing our friend, walking the bar 3 times after a suspicious text message, getting fondled by an old 'client', losing the same friend a second time, walking into a ruined hook-up plan, refusing to go downstairs, watching an ostrich grow in a cup, enjoying 100 buckets of beer (probably not an exaggeration), attempting to go dancing, yelling at boys, taking more pictures, never making it dancing, celebrating the first drink of a no longer preggo friend, and stumbling down the street to a hole-in-the-wall to eat cold burritos, we were lucky to be passed out in bed by 10:30 pm.

So, as I un-cork my bottle of wine tonight and fill up my glass to the rim (thank you for the idea Cougar Town), I toast myself, - 12 Step, Schmelve Step, drinking makes people more fun!!! Cheers!

Dedicated to my fun, funny and funtabulous friends of Opening Day.

I want you, and you, and you.....

2010-04-10T11:34:00.019-06:00

Right now is one of the worst times for me to have such a huge wish list, but I really can't help it. Maybe it's the warm weather, or my upcoming birthday, or the travel bug biting me. But, there are so many things I want, and so little cha ching.

This is a random blog about my latest wants. I'm thinking I'm going to have to get a second job.

My taste is simple, modern, classic and a little Victorian. I love, love this duvet cover, and I will have it....someday.

My future beauties!!!

On my wish list for a good year or two.

Smells so good.

Not on my wish list anymore, because I already booked. Oops.

Seattle, WA

Portland, Maine

More realistic expenses.

Received a friendly letter from the lovely IRS about my 2008 taxes. Yeah, they want more $$.

I owe A LOT on my 2009 taxes, which would probably be why they are STILL not filed.
Need more renters by May 1st...or I'll be doubling up on living expenses paying both rent and mortgage.
That second job is looking more and more tempting everyday.

Dedicated to my check book. If I sprinkle water on you, will you grow?

Want a 7th date? First you must pass this test.

2010-03-30T20:34:00.007-06:00

Half way through my evening at Earl's, a short man pulled up a chair at the bar next to me (and my date). This man quickly cut in on our conversation to share an insight I will honestly say I'm not that familiar with - Man's Perspective on Dating.

Having some single friends, and being a female, I have a good grasp on how women feel about men and dating, but this outgoing man had something to share with me that opened my eyes to a whole new outlook.

What my new friend, let's call him Rico, had to say:

#1 A woman really cares more about what a man can bring to the table, than what she can bring to a relationship. When Rico stated this opinion, I naturally became very defensive, until he went to prove his point. He pulled up Match.com on his cell phone and we did a search for women. Almost every woman's profile we looked at talked more about the requirements a potential boyfriend had to meet, rather than what she has to offer. (Mine excluded of course.)

#2 Women have been raised in a way that leads them to believe men have to make all the effort. Sorry ladies, but this one was hard to argue. It's true, from the time we were little girls we were told if a boy chases us, he likes us. As we grew older, we were told that the boy has to ask the girl out. That it's only proper for the guy to make the first move. That girls need to play hard to get and if he doesn't call, don't call him. (For more examples, see He's Just Not That Into You.) Rico was frustrated that even if a woman wants to call, she flat out refuses. She will not let him know how she feels until he tells her first. She will not make the effort to ask him out. I'm going to have to agree with my lil friend on this one.

#3 (and the most shocking) Women don't date to find a friend or a companion, but instead they want a free meal and sex. This one made me giggle a little bit because I have some strong arguments that may support Suave's point. But, as a female who is currently dating, I will definitely say I do not date for a free meal!! It is really not worth a free meal to sit across from some dud, pulling teeth to get a good conversation, just so I can eat out. I would much rather sit at home alone in my comfys with a nice home cooked meal and Cougar Town. Regarding the free sex, I'm going to go out on a limb to say most women don't have to 'date' to get free sex. 'Nuff said.

After having about a 3 hour conversation with my new friend (and my date), I took down his number so I could get some more information about how men perceive single women. Is it weird that I'm taking dating advice from a guy who requires a girl to take a lie detector test on their 6th date??

Dedicated to 'all the single ladies'. Isn't it interesting how men perceive us? Hmph.

It's a Burn, Not a Hickey

2010-03-24T20:56:00.006-06:00

Last Friday morning I was getting ready for work and listening to the news. While fixing myself in the bathroom mirror, the weather man informed me of a huge snow storm we'd be having that day. Flights would be canceled, roads would be horrible, businesses would be closed. Then, he mentioned this would be the last snow fall of the Winter. This caught my attention because I have had a major case of Spring Fever. (Side note - Hot, cold, hot, cold. My excuse for being moody - Gemini. Colorado, what's your excuse?) So, when the weather man mentioned this exciting news, it caught my attention and, unfortunately, I turned my head to get a better listen and made instant curling iron to skin contact. Y'ouch!!!!! But, besides the new burn, I was thrilled!!!

Normally, I would look at this snowy day as a pain in the tush. (Another side note - Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy the snow, but enough is enough already.) But, now I had a different outlook. I was excited for it to snow one last time. As I was driving home from work I made the extra effort to take in the beautiful scenery. And, while taking Otis out to take care of biznaz, I caught a few flakes on my tongue. I sure was going to miss the snow.

Then, come Saturday, as the snow was quickly melting, it felt so good to go outside without a jacket. It was finally going to be warm outside, which means tank tops, skirts, dresses and swimming suits (Side note, again - I have a very sick addiction to swim suits and can't wait to release them from their drawer). I love warm weather!!

Which is why on Sunday, when my Dad told me it was supposed to snow again on Tuesday, I was very upset and confused.

Me: Dad, they said Friday was going to be the last snow fall of the Winter. It can't snow!!!
Dad: They said it was going to be the last snow of the Winter. Spring started Saturday.

Say what?!?!?!?!?!?!

Dedicated to the Channel 2 Weather Man. Your false hope in warm weather has created a cold bitterness in me.

Is It Really Cheating If...

2010-03-22T18:24:00.007-06:00

Is it really THAT bad if I have a big fat piece of chocolate cake?

Is it really slacking if I skip the gym for a few days? What about a week? Ok, how about 3 weeks?

Is it really rude if I'm IMing him, talking to her and texting him, all at the same time? (That's not rude, that's talent.)

Is it really pessimistic if my faith in fairy tales is fading more and more every single day?

Is it really disloyal if I'm secretly wishing I was on a date with him, instead of him?

Is it really irresponsible if I lay in bed instead of do my weekend chores of grocery shopping, cleaning and laundry?

Is it really lame if Friday night I'd rather stay home and watch Uptown Girls than go be a downtown girl?

Is it really distasteful if I jump up on the speakers and dance for the crowd?

Is it really misbehaving if I have a cheeseburger and fries instead of salmon and broccoli? (OMG, a cheeseburger and fries sound heavenly right now.)

Is it really unprofessional if I take a little break at work to check out my friend's facebook photos? Side note - co-workers, I do not do this, ever ;)

Is it really that obnoxious to wake up neighbors when I get home?

Is it really juvenile if I crawl around on the floor with my 9 month old beauty or roll down the park hill with my 2 year old lovey?

Is it really that pathetic that I have had a glass of wine almost every night for the last 2 weeks?

Is it really that silly if my girlfriends and I dedicate a whole night to Chinese food and watching the Twilight Series?

Is it really that odd to be obsessed with black and white?

Is it really that weird that I have to take 2 showers a day, once in the morning or I feel gross all day, and once at night or I can't sleep?

Is it really sad that I'm perfectly content with living with Otis, the O-Town, my LP, and that I really do think he's probably the perfect man/roommate?

Is it really that horrible if I love to break the rules?

Is it really cheating if I know the results will be better if I do it the 'wrong' way?

Dedicated to my frog. Is it really that difficult to turn into my prince?

A quote at the right moment is like corned beef and cabbage. Delish!

2010-03-15T18:31:00.012-06:00

Quotes are to live by. Sometimes I read a quote that identifies so much with what I'm feeling, that I know the author must have had me in mind when he or she wrote it. Or, maybe just the quote Gods made sure it ended up in my inbox that day.

“Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.”
― Charles Dickens

Disappointment after disappointment can lead to another disappointment. So the first part of this quote is very hard for me to follow. While I feel like I share as much of me as I can with friends and family, I do feel like my heart has hardened towards romantic love. As cliche as this may sound, I feel like I have a wall around my heart. A well laid, brick wall. I've been through a situation that has kicked me in the chest, beat me to the ground, punched me in the stomach and then got in the car and ran over me. It has not been easy, and to this day, that situation backs up and runs over me on about a weekly basis. Fun huh? The first part of this quote reminds me that people aren't out to hurt me, and if I have a hard heart, I could miss out on some great opportunities.

Oh, the second part of this quote, now I have that part down. I'm a redhead, temper is in my blood. I'm stubborn, I know what I want, and if I don't get it, I might get a temper. Who am I kidding? Let's just say, I can accomplish part two of this quote.

The third part of this quote, while can be taken literally, can also be taken figuratively (thanks Jeff). I want my touch to be friendly, compassionate, unforgettable. I also want my 'touch' to mean something to people. I want the people who have been 'touched' by me to understand me as a person, know me deeper than my surface, and hopefully, by my 'touch', I have made a difference in people's lives. The third part of this quote is something to live by.

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.”
― Phyllis Diller

Another quote that I really had to take to heart today. I have been in a mood all day, a hot mess if you will. People who said 'hi' to me instantly backed away with caution. (If you were one of those people, sorry, but I'm blaming it on the red hair.) While I wish I could have taken part in the above quote mentioned activities at work, I couldn't, so I did as soon as I got home. I mean I really did it!!!!!!! And now, I'm a different person. Lesson to be learned - next time I want to attack someone who simply steps foot in my office, I'll close my door, set my phone alarm, cry, rant and rave!!! Then, feel free to enter my office.

Idea - Why don't you post a quote that relates to how you are feeling right this very moment?

Dedicated to today's victims.

Gone Fishing

2010-02-27T15:53:00.008-07:00

Last Friday night I'm over at my sister's house and I'm talking to her about possibly joining Match.com, since my friend thought it would be a good thing to do. My sister also thinks it's a fabulous idea so I sit down at her computer in the kitchen and start looking at the guys, cuz after all 'It's Ok to Look'. I asked my oldest nephews if they wanted to help me shop for a new uncle. They both gave me confused looks but walked over to the computer and started to point to a few guys they both thought would be good for me. Andrew picked a guy that I would say is not my taste and I had to ask him if he REALLY thought he was cute. Andrew admitted that he didn't and that he would be more serious about his selection next time (in so many words). My 2 year old nephew wanted to get involved in the project so he pushed a stool up so he could see the screen and started pointing at every single guy on the screen, one at a time, ending on pointing to himself - 'Pick Me'.

So, I see that there are some decent guys on the site, the boys agree, and we decide to make a profile, just as my Mom and Dad walk in. I write my description and answer the questions and the family all helps me pick my main picture, my dad's choice winning out, and my profile is now complete.

Picture this - Me, sitting at the computer with 3 little boys sitting around me, all shopping for an uncle on Match.com. Hey, at this point, I might as well make my dating life a family event. How is my Friday night experience not a perfect commercial for Match?

So yes, now my friend and I are both on Match.com, hoping to 'Start a Love Story'. I figured with everything that has happened throughout the last 2 1/2 years of my life, this is just the next step, the next chapter. And, I might as well try it, because trying new things is right up my alley lately. As we're sitting in the bar discussing who has winked at us, who has shown 'Interest' and who has emailed, I decided it was a little embarrassing to admit we are on Match.com (even though I'm admitting it to all of you readers right now), and we should definitely come up with a nick name for it since making nick names is what we do. Fish Market = Match.com. It's a perfect name for it. You have the Bottom Feeder, which are the guys who just want some action and are winking at every female on the site, especially the ones way out of their league. You have the Trout, which are the guys who are OK, but we're definitely not looking for OK at this point. Then, you have the Salmon, which is the man you want, the man you hope winks at you, and maybe even sends you an actual email. Besides all these reasons, I saw the word 'Fish' on the window of the bar we were at and it sounded like a good idea at the time.

So, how is the Fish Market going, you're probably wondering? It's A LOT of work. I get so many winks, Interests, emails a day that it's flooding my Inbox. It's hard to weed through all of the Bottom Feeders to find a Salmon or two. Who knew so many single men were trying out online dating.

I've also learned a lot about myself while using the Fish Market. For example, I'm very into looks. Before I dig any further into someone's profile, I have to look at all of their pictures, and if I don't find them very attractive, then I delete them from my page. But, if I find them attractive and ONLY when I find them attractive, I read their profile. Even if it's not very good, I still might give a wink back. After all, 'It All Starts With a Look' and if I don't like the look, then why should I go any further?

I was told last night that I have to be more bold with my account, which includes *deep breath* actually meeting people in person. I guess IMing and emailing aren't the best ways to start (or have) a meaningful relationship. So, I may take that step, we'll see, and once again, stay tuned.

Dedicated to my Salmon. I'll catch you some day.

Catching Fish

2010-02-23T21:13:00.003-07:00

Too many fishies in the fish market + Too much wine = No time for blogging tonight. Stay tuned and I promise I'll explain later.

7 Minutes in Heaven

2010-02-22T21:10:00.004-07:00

Remember junior high Boy/Girl parties? Ahhhh!!! *Sigh* Ahhhhhhwkward. Ok, now fast forward about 15 years. Imagine going to that same Boy/Girl party, but now you're 27. I'm not kidding, I went to this party!!!!

Let me walk you through my friend's and my experience. We signed up to go to Alice's Bitter Ball, which was the Friday before Valentine's Day, which is why it was called 'Bitter' Ball - because it was for singles only. And yes, we totally put on our best threads (ok, I don't think either of us were very confident in what we were wearing, hence the texts back and fourth while we were getting ready). And yes, we both checked our make up before we got out of the car, but this time my friend was driving, rather than our Mom, and it took us about a hundred years to find a parking spot.

So, we get there, we walk in and we get a name tag. But instead of our name, we get a number. Very clever. So this number now represents us, and if someone is interested in us, but not confident to come and actually talk to us (which seemed to be the theme of the night) they could send a text to our 'number' and it would show up on the big, huge screen. Great, so now we have numbers that don't stick very well, especially with the style of shirts that we were wearing, which were placed exactly in the right spot to enhance our cleavage, but not enhance a 'name tag'. We quickly grab a beer and start watching the big screen, cuz really, there's nothing else to do.

The girls were talking to the girls. The boys were talking to the boys. Quick glances were being made across the room at the so-called 'crushes' of the evening. And, to top it off, we had a classic game of Spin the Bottle and 7 Minutes in Heaven. To answer the question that I'm sure is now on your mind - no, I did not participate in either of these games, as swapping spit with complete strangers who have just swapped spit with another complete stranger makes me throw up in my mouth a little. I don't think it had this same effect on me when I was in junior high.

We did meet a couple of nice lads that night, but none that we will talk to outside of that night and we may have tried to find an escape route a time or two.

One of the best stories of the night, we were watching the big screen, a lot. So we decided to entertain ourselves and we put this message up on the screen. Then, we're talking to this random guy and he says 'Who would write that?' about another post. 'Seriously, it seems like that person wrote that about themselves. Who would do that? Pathetic'. And my friend agrees as we walk away giggling. Pathetic? More like bored.

So, the good news is, my friend and I tried something new. We put ourselves out there. When we were feeling a little bummed about the upcoming lover holiday, we decided to do something about it, rather than sulk. And, while we may not have found our Valentines, we did eventually find our escape route for the night - a photo booth!!! (Man, we have some cute pictures.)

Dedicated to #332. OMG!!

What Can a 7 Month Old Teach Us?

2010-02-09T19:51:00.001-07:00

She's 7 months old and brilliant already!!!! The other day, while hanging out at my sister's pad, Chloe started to crawl. But the way that she did it, with such determination and motivation, is what got me so excited.

So yes, little Miss Chloe taught her Auntie Sarah a life lesson. No matter how many times she fell, she got right back up. She didn't get frustrated, she just kept moving forward. Check out her smile right before she grabs what she was going for. She knew she had made it, that she reached what she was working for.

I may be reading into this a little too much, but Chloe falls many times. And, I think we all fall through life many times. We all have set backs in life (relationships, work, money, crushes, heartache, slumps, illness, family) and we have 2 choices:

1. We can let that set back, that fall if you will, frustrate us. We can make ourselves believe that it's not even worth going toward what we started working for in the first place.

Or

2. We can learn from Chloe and let the set back be a minor bump in the road, get back up and keep on crawling.

We'll get there, we'll reach that goal, that dream.

Dedicated to my Baby Girl - Miss Chloes (oh just wait until it's my turn to start teaching her stuff)

Some call it happy hour, I call it therapy

2010-02-08T17:36:00.000-07:00

Happy hour with my girlfriends is a lot like therapy. On Friday, I was in A MOOD. Some may say a 'hot mess'. I was hurt, pissed, disappointed, sad, mad, but most of all hurt. Luckily, I have one of the best girlfriends anyone could ask for and she gave me a good session of 'therapy'.

After a beer and a nice big glass of wine, she did exactly what a good therapist would do, let me talk. But, unlike a therapist, she knows me well enough to know when to interrupt, give me advice, tell me I'm wrong, tell me I'm right. Like a therapist, she isn't supposed to judge, no matter what I tell her. Unlike a therapist, I know she doesn't judge, no matter what I tell her.

Happy hour is better than therapy. If I was at a therapists' office, the session would end once I walked out the door. But no, not with my girlfriends. After a cocktail or two (or three) we start planning. Ways to get back. Ways to feel better. Go to Bitter Balls. Move to London. Send inappropriate texts. Have another cocktail. (Go dancing in bird cages.) Yeah, my girls know me. A therapist doesn't know me.

So, rather than go to a therapy session with someone who will charge me for every word that comes out of my mouth, I'd rather go to happy hour, where the only charge I accumulate is my bar tab.

Some call it happy hour, I call it therapy.

Dedicated to the other 1/2 of my squared.

Ah Pierre

2010-01-05T18:03:00.001-07:00

It's a new year. A new decade. And I'm sure you've heard the ever popular question - What's your New Year's resolution? I've even been guilty of asking this question because how could you not be curious about all the answers you'll get? While some people may actually make a resolution, I would venture to say that 99.9% of those people forget that resolution after about a month, month and a 1/2. Some even sooner. How would you ever expect to continue to keep up your resolution for an entire year??

So, to answer the resolution question, I say this:

HAPPINESS

This is not a resolution that you will easily forget, or give up on. I myself was very guilty of sadness, grouchiness, anger, feeling sorry for myself in 2009. But in 2010, let's all do everything we can to be happy (me included). You've heard it before and I'll say it again - Life is Short. In my opinion, happiness is one of the most important aspects of life. It's one of THE things that makes life worth living.

Now, while some (ok most) people may choose that they are going to get in shape in 2010 and that will equal happiness, I say go for it. While it is irritating to have you all in the gym in January and February, if working out makes you feel good, then do it. Then, once you get tired of that do the next thing that makes you happy. Maybe it's dedicating at least one night a week to a night out. Do it. Or, making a phone call to an old friend every Sunday. A great idea. Maybe it's deciding to have family dinners where you all actually sit around the table and talk about your day. Fabulous. Or, making sure you plan date nights with your sig other frequently. Perfect. I say, whatever makes you happy.

Here's the secret to keeping this resolution. If you are not happy, you know it. But the good part is, it's easily fixed. For example, if I'm sitting at home feeling like there's no one in this world who cares about me, I'll call a friend and invite them to drinks, which is easy. If you are feeling down, do something to fix it.

I know something that makes me very happy - food. And for that, I salute Pierre (my food baby).

Happy New Year!!! May 2010 be the best yet. I know that's what I'm going for.

Crunchy or Puffy?

2009-12-17T20:54:00.000-07:00

What's your favorite? This is one of the hardest questions a person can ask me. In fact, when the words 'what's your favorite blah blah blah' come out of someone's mouth, I cringe. Not because I don't like you, or your question, but because I'm afraid I just can't answer you. Is it wrong that I cannot give you an answer?

Some ever so popular questions that I can never, ever answer are:

Where was your favorite place to live?
What's your favorite food?
What's your favorite movie?
What's your favorite color? (Ok, I do have an answer for this one...)
What's your favorite restaurant?
What's your favorite show?
Crunchy or puffy?
What's your favorite drink?
What's your favorite animal?
What's your favorite book?
And so on, and so on, and so on.

So back to my question, is it wrong that I can not give these people an answer? Here's how I look at it - I'm open minded. Why would I ever want to pick a favorite when there are so many options out there? What if they are all my favorites? What if I like two more than the other options, but I don't like one of those two more than the other. And, what if there is an option that you are about to introduce to me, but because I already have a favorite, you hold out on me?

Or, and more likely to be true, I may change my mood tomorrow (it may even be within the hour, realistically the minute) and I will have a new favorite. Then, I will have to run around to find you just to let you know that my favorite has changed.

I Love Peanut Butter; Doesn't Mean I'm Going to Marry It

2009-11-30T20:51:00.000-07:00

Open your eyes, look around (the full, bright moon in the black sky). Open your ears, and listen (a special little boy giggling). Open your mouth, and taste (mom's meals, made with love). Open your hand, feel (soft white fur on the dog). Take a deep breath, smell (the soft scent of cologne on the man with love).

As unfortunate, as unlucky and as sorry for ourselves as we feel, there are so many things to love in this life, just pay attention.

Pay attention. I love loving; O-town; the boys (yes, this includes Chloe); my Dad going and getting me a Starbucks after I ask him 14 times; facebook; my Sister wanting to know every detail of my 'juicy' life; shopping with my Mom almost every Sunday; delicious; kisses all over baby Chloe's soft skin; saying things so Spencey repeats; dancing in the rain (I'm not just saying this, I really do love it); gossiping with the girls; drinking a glass of wine, then another, then another, then a beer; massages; being completely myself with those people who know me best; saying things to make you blush; giving advice; picking on the 'Lil One; trips to San Diego; singing in the shower, in the car, while I put on my make up, while I make dinner.....; zebras; ice cream; an action movie in the theater; football; being loved; laughing so hard my stomach kills (yes, it is the best pain ever); up in the gym just working on my fitness; nail polish; Black Eyed Peas; standing completely still and letting just my hair blow in the wind; my shows; Uptown Girls; The Spilled Canvas; shopping; flowers for absolutely any occasion in any room, anywhere, anytime; fabulous; making your recipe, but healthier; drop it like it's hot; lovins; my ladies - the honest one, the crazy one, the quiet one, the silly one, the fun time one...oh, and my girls; romance; lyrics and songs that were written just for me (even if the artist didn't know it when he was writing it); peanut butter on my bagel, pretzels, apples, in a spoon, crackers, toast..................................

Ah yes, life is good, even quite fabulous!! Cheers.

Dance Like No One Is Watching

2009-11-19T21:44:00.000-07:00

Look to your left, look to your right...everybody's doing it, and nobody is watching you. So, focus your attention straight ahead and look into the floor to ceiling, wall length mirror right in front of you, and just let loose. That's right ladies, were talking "Zamba". This is not your regular dance mix, and definitely not your regular work out class. In "Zamba", you are going to do moves that feel awkward, and when you do look at that girl in your reflection, she will be moving in ways that are hard to define as 'sexy'.

As my friend and I stomped our feet, shook our jigglies and tried our hardest to be 'flirty', I couldn't help but wonder what those guys that I swear I saw peeping through the curtains in the window were thinking.

I'm sure they couldn't be thinking that the actual definition of "Zamba" is - a fusion of body sculpting movements with easy to follow dance steps to the tune of Latin and International music. Instead, they must be thinking that yes, the Tease-Studio definition must be correct - fusion of latin rhythyms & easy to follow moves creates a dynamic fitness class that will blow you away. get a workout, get hooked, LOVE it. incorporates beginning pole tricks. (Wait, where were the pole tricks tonight? I will tell you I wanted more than anything to bust a move on that long stick as I kept doing free-spirited skips past the pole in the middle of the room.)

So here's my definition of "Zamba" - This is a dance that will tell you a lot about yourself. You will learn dances of all genres. You will learn if you are coordinated. You will learn how to not only enjoy dancing (which trust me, is one of the things I enjoy most), but to give yourself a good, sweaty work out while doing so. You will learn that although you WILL be embarrassed, you better do the dance move or the 'instructor' will call you out. You will learn to let go of your inhibitions. That although you might be quacking like a duck and you may be saying the word 'duck', you do indeed look like a duck. And, quite surprisingly, you will learn that although you've been telling people all day that you are going to "Zamba" class, it is actually Zumba class.

Most of all, and most importantly, my #1 definition of Zumba - you will learn how to dance like noone's watching, because you have no other choice. And this my friends, are words (and actions) I live by.

This post is dedicated to Miss Laura Sands - cuz she's hot and, trust me, she's got coordination.

Good Enough To Eat

2009-03-16T19:39:00.000-06:00

Yummy! What's delicious? A woman with character.

How boring would it be if all women were the same and if every woman liked the same thing about herself as the woman walking on her left and on her right. From day one, a girl knows what she is good at and what she is not good at, and from there she builds CHARACTER.

First Flava: Don't cross her. She knows what she wants, she is determined, and she won't back off until she gets it. Some call her stubborn, she calls herself confident. She will step on toes, she's not afraid to stab someone in the back, and she breaks hearts - she will get what she wants. But, when it comes to her friends, there is nothing she holds on a higher pedestal. Not a man, not her co-workers and definitely not her family, who she no longer knows or speaks to. Let's call her powerful.

Second Flava: What could be more attractive than her sweet face? How about her ability to make anyone who comes in contact with her melt in her hand? While most people can't take their eyes off of her, even more people can't help but bend over backwards to get her exactly what she wants. And, she has no hidden motive. Let's call her innocent.

Third Flava: She's hot, she's irresistible, and she lives by no rules. You don't want her flirting with your boyfriend at the bar, you don't want her running in to your man at the ball game, and you definitely don't want her working with your husband. She likes to have fun, and she does what she wants, as long as she has a good time. Let's call her dangerous.

Fourth Flava: She says what's on every woman's mind, but what no woman will ever say (except her). She'll tell you how she can't move on from fantasizing about her co-worker, how the woman sitting at the next table needs a major dye job, and how many women just want to get laid, no obligation, no connections. She'll say it loud and proud, and she won't care who's around to hear it. Let's call her honest.

Fifth Flava: She is shy, timid, predictable and has no confidence. That's right, none. She lives her life vicariously through her friends, and while she wants to be more daring and wants to live on the edge, she can't take that step and continues to live her life, day-by-day, doing the same thing and making the same choice today as she made yesterday. Let's call her sheltered.

Mix all the flavas together, add some tales, throw in a few male characters - and you have a story good enough to eat.